Guess who's back back back, back again.

Hi ya'll,
It's me. Its really me back on the blog. After almost a year.

I am so sorry that I let the blog fall apart. I went away to college, and I lost the time to update and write. So now, I'm back. Not just for the summer, but for good. And I'll never leave again. Because something hit me and i just missed this so much.

I want to let you guys know what's been happening in my life for the past 10099753 months I haven't been here.

I went away to college to study Fashion Design, which turned into Photography, which almost turned into English. College was an experience. I hated every thing I did there. When i showed up, I was 100% sure that I wanted to work in the fashion industry. Then, my colleges fashion program wasn't exactly what i wanted, so i switched over to photography thinking, "oooh! Fashion photography yes!" Then photography didn't work out, and basically i started going crazy because for my whole life, i knew what i wanted. Fashion, fashion, fashion. Then something just hit me and now i'm not going back to that school and i'm trying to figure out what the hell i want.

Now here I am. And I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I still love fashion. Fashion got me through the toughest times of my life, along with music and books. It's just, i don't know what I want anymore.

I changed a lot this past year. I realized a lot about myself, and what I like and what I don't.

I fell in love, which definitely has played a role, even though everyone says it shouldn't.

I realized I like comfy clothes, and that's is a-okay. I'd rather be in yogas and a hoodie than heels and  a dress but DON'T GET ME WRONG; heels and dresses are still HOT. I still love them, but after wearing them, I like to come home and put my "sweaties" on and just chill.

I also realized that I am not the city girl I thought I once was. But I am also not a full out country girl. I'm just a small town girl, i have no idea what i want to be when i grow up, but i know i want horses. :)

Basically, i'm just finally learning to be 110% myself. I never truly was before, but here i am now, and i'm not going to hold back. Some nights, i go out in purple lipstick, my knee high combat boots and dressed in all black, and then the next, i'm in heals and a dress. And then, 55% of the time, i'm in leggings or yogas just chillin' being frickin comfy. For so long, while i didn't follow the normal crowd, i followed to crowd i wanted to be like, but forgot that i still have to do and be the kind of person I WANT TO BE.

I also learned that people are going to judge your every move. They're going to put you down whether you like it or not. I've just learned so much. And it changed the way I think and the way i see myself and this world. Sure, i'm a negative nancy most of the time, but i really am working on it, because before all of the stress and college and depression started, i was a happy girl, nothing but positive energy flowing from me. And I need that positivity back.

So here i am. I'm back here. And i'm going to write through it all. And I'm going to get to the place i want to be with my health and emotions and i'm going to figure out what i want to do when i grow up, and i'm going to be in love the whole time i'm doing it. :)

Hope you guys missed me, because i sure as hell missed you.

 See you guys soon,
xx Anna